We now live in a world where people are connected more than ever and you’re only ever a click away from engaging with friends you may not have seen since you were in Primary school.
With an expanding network of acquaintances, facebook provides an excellent platform for documenting the key events in your life and sharing your experiences with the world. That said, we all have those friends that delve further into their lives and are hard-wired to ‘air their dirty washing in public’ or simply provide us with useless information. Annoying as this may be, we just can’t ‘unfriend’ these people because they provide hours of entertainment as we see them at their best and worst. Lets be honest…there’s nothing better than a whining old ‘over-sharer’ to make you appreciate your life. (Especially the ones that can’t string a sentence together, spell or punctuate correctly.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of things you see on Facebook when you haven’t got a gun!!
1) The Sympathy seekers
Obviously on the brink of death, or lining up the ‘back story’ for tomorrow’s ‘sick call…. you still have time to update your status so that everyone can feel sorry for you. Even worse when you post a photo of your contagious skin condition in the hope that your friends will be able to diagnose it.
2) People who get confused between Facebook and their fitness diary..
This is irritating mainly to those that do not participate in any form of exercise because we are a nation of couch potatoes. Why should we be reminded that people are so ‘fantastic’ and have reached their ‘personal fitness goals’?. Nobody cares…. (not true we’re just jealous).
3) People angry with the world
You can imagine this post coming from someone with an ‘I’d like to speak to the Manager’ haircut, disgruntled that the checkout girl has ‘double scanned’ her pringles. If you’re fed up with them…tell THEM!, we don’t all need to know….get off my timeline.
4) The news reporter
Beautiful!, thats one to tell your kids when they’re older. “When you arrived, so did mummy”.
5) The Count-downer
Congratulations, besides your daily reminders, I also have a diary, a smartphone, outlook and a bloody advent calendar….but thanks anyway.
6) The ‘What I had for my dinner’ post
If everybody did this, the internet would surely come to a standstill, with 3 meals a day and 2 billon people on Facebook , thats 6 billion food posts a day. This post does not interest anyone….unless you are a mother of an anorexic person, who now knows that their child ate today. The only thing that would make this post worse is if it included the obligatory words; “nom nom nom”.
7) The check-in addict
The height of excitement! I do love the odd check in…but everybody knows what to expect in a Sainsbury’s right? Worse still when you check in on the M25….I couldn’t be less interested.
8) The Proud Parent
Seriously- we are fully aware at what a great job you are doing as a mother. You are however ,not the first mother in the world and certainly not the last. Save this one for your husband when he gets home.
9) The Daily Profile Changer
“How do I make sure I appear on everyone’s timeline every day?….Oh I know I’ll change my photo every day.” Make up your mind on a photo, stick with it, then get on with your life!
10) The Cryptic
Arguably you could say these people are under-sharers, but if you’re not going to expand on this then don’t post it. The funniest is when someone then says,”You ok hun? and the original attention seeker replies with “inbox me!”.
11) The Salesman
This just reeks of taste and class. People selling their wares for pennies on Facebook…and how hard up must you be to be selling an iPhone box with no iPhone?
12) The TV Commentator
This is either annoying because you are already watching and don’t need a running commentary….OR you have sky plus’d it but needn’t have bothered because some idiot has just spoiled it for you.
13) The ones with #nofilter
Finally the ones with absolutely no filter. Well done Mia, your mother is so proud of you.